KG and I had a great time talking to a group of teenage girls yesterday. We shared about our first crush. We giggled and laughed about boys.
Both of us played a few games with them just to find out what they understand about relationships.
KG gave them 3 papers each and posed these questions to them:
1) Write down the qualities that you like to have in a guy
2) Write down the qualities that you don't like to have in a guy
3) Write down the qualities that you think a guy would like in a girl
KG and I, being "OLDer" and married, we wrote down rather quickly. The girls took a while to think. While they were deep in thoughts, I approached my husband who was around and asked him the qualities that he would like to have in a "wife".
The young girls focused mainly on outward appearance - handsome, tall, etc.
Then, they shared on item (2) where it changed to inner appearance - ignorant, cocky, disrespectful.
And on item (3), again, they talked mostly on inward qualities - hardworking, loving, patient, etc.
I then shared my husband's list (contained loving God, truthful, not nagging, not complaining, hard working, etc), which they listened intently.
KG and I posed further questions to them to think about.
For example:
1) Do you think you are prepared for marriage?
2) Is dating a "play-play" or a "trying it out" thing?
3) Would you just marry any man that comes along who can meet your "wish list"? (Remember that their list contained mainly outward appearances)
4) What if he asks you for sex before marriage?
5) What would you do if your then-husband asks you to perform perverted sexual positions or he turns out to be an alcoholic? Would you leave him?
6) You married him because he's good looking. He, too, could have married you because you are beautiful. When you've given birth and you become fat, what would you do if he goes out and finds another younger, more beautiful woman?
As young as they are, KG and I believe they are not too young to think about long-term. We shared with them that relationship is a commitment, not just unto a man and a woman, but unto God. As Christians, God does not like separation. As such, when we are married, we are to be with the same man "until death do us part". Thus, they need to be wise in selecting a boyfriend who will in turn be their husband and the father to their children.
We emphasised on the importance of knowing who they are in Christ and that seeking for a partner should not supercede seeking after God. We ended the coversation by challenging them with this question to think about in the future when they are in love, "Will that man bring you closer to God or will he draw you away from God? "
KG and I realised no one had ever guided us to the meaning of relationship when we were in our teens.
By the grace of God, we were restrained from being wild when we were younger and we learnt much about relationships in dating and marriage along the years. We hope we were able to impart the wisdom that God has given to this new and young generation. So that they will understand their role as a lady and to be presented as pure brides to their future husbands. By then, may they be able to grasp the high calling of being a wife and, subsequently, a mother.
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