The Glory of God in Marriage

For those who had read my portion of the story in "About Us" in Blooming Wives (it's the reason why KG and I started this blog), you would know that I owe you this story.

This is the story on what God taught me about the meaning of marriage, which defies tradition, culture and human thinking. And I'm still learning about it day by day!

It all started when Darren and I became friends and after that, we developed a liking for each other. When we decided to be romantically involved, we made a commitment to one another by submitting our relationship to God in prayer. On that day itself, we made it clear to each other, and to God, that we had marriage as our end goal. Darren was my first boyfriend and so was I his first.

Before we even held hands, I needed him to seek permission from my father first. Darren agreed and said he had planned to do that all along.

I told my father about this the next day and I asked if he understood what I was saying. He answered, "You are getting married, right?" I laughed and said, "No lah, abah. He is going to come and ask your permission whether he can be my boyfriend or not". My father was surprised because he had never heard of such a thing before. But Darren had gained his respect. My father approved of us being together without any question when Darren came a week after.

(Honestly and prayerfully, I hope my daughter and her future husband would honour us as parents by doing the same thing.)

Before Darren proposed, I began to search the meaning of marriage and what are the roles of a husband and a wife.

Real life examples are plenty. My parents, older folks, friends who are married, books, TV dramas and culture.
In this modern day when women are climbing the corporate ladder and pursuing their own ambition, is there really such a thing called "equality" in a marriage? What does that word mean, anyway? And if there is, is that more of a human way or God's way?

Why not go to the Source, right? Since I call God my Father in Heaven and I believe He is my creator, He would be the best counselor there is.

So one day, while I was driving to work, I casually asked God, "God, what is marriage?"
The reply was so instant that I nearly stopped my car.
"Marriage is not about your happiness. It is about My glory".

I was very sure I did not come up with that answer with my simple mind. And it left me dumbfounded. FOR DAYS!

It was very difficult for me to accept, especially after growing up watching love movies and reading romantic novels. So, I could not SEEK MY OWN ever after, after all??

That complaint made me realised how selfish I was. I believe if it were without God's guidance, I would have stepped into marriage with the expectation of Darren meeting my expectations, my fantasies and my needs. That is not sacrificial love. It is just plain self-centeredness.

I prayerfully asked God to teach me further because I really wanted to love Darren genuinely and honour God wholeheartedly.

God then impressed upon me again with a verse from the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13.

"Love is patient".

Christians would know this scripture. The whole paragraph talks about what love is. (If you want to know more, you can find it here)

What God showed me in my mind was this, "If your husband cheats on you with another woman or if he treats you unkind, you will be patient".

Like I said before, this totally defies our logical thinking and it might make some of you angry and feel this is utterly ridiculous!

But my stand, from the start, is this: I had wanted a man who loves God more than me and I wanted to honour God more than anything else in the world because I love Him more than anything else in the world.

I wanted to learn what love is and God had it clear in His Word on what it is. He even gave me an example!

I wanted to learn what marriage is and He told me it is for His glory.

With such a revelation, I actually realised that marriage is seeking after my own happiness after all. If I could honour God by following His advice in having a right marriage, then I would make my God happy. Well, if He's happy, then...I'm happy.

KG and I are learning day by day on our roles as a wife. Even as we dwell upon the Word of God and talk to other women, we began to develop a deeper sense of wanting to seek after God's glory in this. And we both love and adore our own husbands dearly!

On what our findings are as wives? We will tell you another time. :)

SY